If your family and friends are like mine whenever there’s a family event wedding, funeral, birth day BBQ someone will start reminiscing about things that happened. If they are tipsy or have Dementia things that MAY not have happened are now fact .These untruths are reborn and are told with more passion and descriptive imagery than the events that actually happened. This is where the dementia/memory loss sufferers at the party and the tipsy friends who are also temporary memory loss sufferers become a united front of twisted story tellers.
When my Grandpa was alive he had a saying he brought back from Oklahoma that he would say if someone was lying. “That sounds like one of those Shine Copper deals to me” After many years of confusion I finally asked him who in the heck was Shine Cooper. My mom interrupted and said it was a man who travelled in the summer with a chicken who could play songs on a mini baby grand piano. Later they found out the guy was controlling the keys somehow and had scammed people all across Oklahoma. He was pecking but not always the right notes without help. I was about 10 years old and that’s when I began to wonder where my family got these crazy stories and wondered was I adopted. My grandmother said it wasn’t true and gave me some other elaborate story that was worse than my mom’s chicken concerto story.
Over the years I’ve had my own set of crazy experiences that I occasionally talk about. My older relatives have to trump my stories sometimes and every time they tell it more is added.
Wen I was little I was at the neighborhood corner store and a man took out a gun pointed it at me and told the clerk Elaine to empty the register. Elaine was friends with my uncle Frank who worked at the San Jose Police department. The man said I am going to kill this little N word girl if you don’t. I told him to shoot me because my mom worked for criminal court and my uncle worked for the sheriff’s department. Elaine looked like Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show. Surprisingly she pulled a 45 out of her apron and said I was telling the truth and the guy got scared and ran. Whenever I tell that story my cousin Helen who is still alive at 91 tells her wild west bank robber story. She tells a tale of a black bank robber on a horse in Oklahoma when she was a little girl. She’s awesome and in good health still drives, gardens and travels so she can tell any story she wants to.
My poor mom however doesn’t remember that my dad passed away. At parties she says my dad is on tour with is band and she thinks he remarried because she hasn’t seen him in a long time. One day mom’s manicurist asked me how my dad could tour at such an old age. She saw my face and realized by my expression that mom had been really convincing.He did play in a band but now as I said before it’s in Heaven.
My grandmothers basement was full of old trunks, lots of rope, linen and china. I still have a lot of those things and every piece prompts a story from a visiting relative. The worst thing I found was crystalized dynamite. I made a call to the non emergency dept. and said “Hey I opened this crate at my grandmas and there is dynamite and this crystalized pile on top of it. Hello?” by the time I hung up the bomb squad and the fire dept. were in the driveway and blocked off our street. I asked mom why did she think her mom ever had such a thing. she said probably bootlegging when Oklahoma was a dry state. She said she was kidding but I think it was one of those shine Cooper Deals like Grandpa use to say.
My friends tell me I should do a stand up routine on this stuff. I just need an agent and a chicken who can play a baby grand piano .lol It would be called stories from a deranged caregiver that are so crazy they just have to be true.
I’m curious have any unbelievable events dynamite, talented chickens or other crazy stories presented themselves at your family gatherings? I ‘dl like to hear them. Just comment below.