What is this Empty Nest I hear about ? Advice to parents don’t make your house too comfy. Start now people before it’s too late.


It’s Saturday night here in Silicon Valley. I’ve been married 23 years so Saturday night isn’t a big deal. Apparently it isn’t a big deal to my young adult kids that still live here either. Um they’re both home one has his girlfriend here so I have an extra one. Oh and my 85 year old mom with dementia is here. My husband is snoring on the couch and my dog is asleep on a lounge chair by the hot tub. My dog is so about comfort. He actually took a cushion off another patio chair and put it on the lounge chair. I keep hearing other moms complaining about their houses being empty and this empty nest syndrome thing . It isn’t the case here people. I know why. Please pay attention so this doesn’t happen to you.

I bought my house when the kids were small. I wanted a smaller home but my husband said he never wanted to move again so just buy one that has everything . We got a great deal. My kids love to swim (yes  some black people swim too ) , It was close to their school and just far enough where relatives couldn’t drop in uninvited and eat dinner after work like they did at my mom’s house. I loved the neighborhood . Every window has a view of mountains and Italian cypress trees. My neighbor’s are all either Italian, Vietnamese or Portuguese. They all brought me dinner or fruit the first week we moved in and we still share food with each other on holidays and when my hubby  starts the grill up. I love the variety it’s great. You don’t find that anymore in most cities. The problem is my kids loved all of this too and that is why they are still here. They work and go to college but I have plans for their rooms. Instead of an empty nest I have a nest so full it needs to be remodeled. Mom moved in because she has dementia and if you have read my blog before she came with a whole set of issues that I wont go into right now.

So my first mistake was the house is close to two high schools and down the street from an assisted living  home for the elderly. Both of my kids play instruments and sing. They are very popular because of this and after school everyone wants to come here and play the drums, use the recording equipment swim and relax in the hot tub. If you read my blog you also know mom’s friends  from the assisted living center got out and they were even here a few times hanging out on the patio. So it isn’t just the kids friends it’s my mom’s friends too ! Oh and Rusty my dog has people friends I didn’t know about as I have mentioned before.

So yes they are in college and or working now but we still have kids coming by. The other thing is don’t be too good of a cook. Their starving student  friends will come by after work or class and happen to know when dinner is. My husband makes the best BBQ. Our neighbors even bring us meat when they smell our grill so that my husband can season and cook their meat. Its so bad my neighbor next door gets on a ladder and has created a rope and  crate system where he lowers whole chickens down to my husband. He also has another one where he gives treats to my dog. When we’re done we just give him his BBq back over the fence. It’s crazy.

The other thing is don’t be too motherly  with their friends. They will come over expecting you to be Deepak Chopra and every time there’s a break up(  like every week) you will be there after work listening to their drama and offering left overs.

One last thing don’t let them have a party at your house. It isn’t pin the tail on the donkey anymore. I can’t even go into what happened at my sons last party,but it looked like the Movie The Hangover in my backyard  . We just didn’t have any live chickens or a tiger. At least I didn’t see them.

On the up side they both cook pretty well, they are very helpful to my mom and they even buy their own groceries. it could be worse. I would love to have an art room and an extra guest room but I guess it can wait.  If I had extra room my mother in law would visit more often so I can definitely wait.





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